Lovely Shenanigans
by pommibee
Summary: He had a surprise. A lovely surprise for his dearest Sakura. He hoped she would like — no, love for what he had in store for her. And he hoped his little Naruto spermies wouldn't be destroyed when she finally caught him.


**Lovely Shenanigans**

_by AnnoyingTurnip_

Author's Note: Yeah, yeah. With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I'm obviously hit with inspiration. Enjoy :)

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* * *

__Really…? _

To say that one Miss Sakura Haruno was petrified would have been the understatement of the year. It would have even gotten a prize.

"What the hell…is this?" she asked no one in particular as she strode toward the giant stuffed creature. Standing — _sitting _on Sakura's mahogany office desk was a giant white bear, that was _at least _twice her size, holding up an equally stuffed heart with words sewed in white saying;

_Dearest love, will you be my bitch today? _

She had the sudden urge to shred the damn thing, then throw it out the window. Now, Sakura was more than glad to receive gifts, especially on Valentine's Day, but this? This was just absurd.

It was cruel.

It was nerve-racking.

It was kind of kinky.

It was _so_ Naruto.

"Prick," Sakura muttered as she carelessly punched the obnoxious stuffed animal to the ground. The smile it had on its face disgusted her. Especially since it reminded her so much of Naruto, and how he would have actually looked if he were the one to actually ask her that out loud. And straight to her face.

"Damn bastard." Sakura said through clenched teeth. Normally Naruto wasn't as bad, but his little present to her was enough to send her over the edge for today.

He had already gotten her mildly pissed off this morning by dropping cereal on her head. She had overlooked that at first since he was just trying to be romantic and give her breakfast in bed. But then other worse things started happening.

Like how he had tried to surprise her by giving her an empty wrapped present. It was odd at first but he caught her off guard when he went in for a kiss _way_ too fast. Which then resulted in her getting a bruise on her forehead since he had practically head butted her when he went in for the kiss.

Sakura twitched in slight pain at the memory and subconsciously rubbed her still sore forehead.

Then there was also when he had given her orange poppy flowers.

She's allergic to poppies.

That she could overlook also seeing as he was just trying to be nice and give her orange flowers. He said it was a way to remind her of him. Yet she was so damned sure she had told him, countless times that she was in fact allergic to them.

But knowing Naruto he had probably blocked her out whenever she had told him.

And that wasn't even half of all the other things he had tried to do for her today but failed. Epically failed.

Accidentally pouring hot coffee on her lap, accidentally chucking a box of chocolates at her face from outside her window, poking her eye with a rose, and now the bear. The goddamned bear.

Coming into work was the only way she could have gotten away from him and being unlucky on the one holiday of love. But when she walked in to find the reached white bear she knew that there was no escaping him.

_Son of a bitch_, Sakura thought as she sat at her desk and leaned her delicate face into the palm of her hands.

With Naruto harassing her at home and and at work things were surely not going to end well.

For either of them, if the abuse kept coming.

Sighing, Sakura just dropped her head onto her desk creating a loud 'thud' noise and making her wince at her mistake.

"Owie," Sakura moaned as she immediately lifted her head up and started to rub her now more sore forehead. Stupid.

_It's all his fault, if he hadn't been such a nuisance wouldn't have been so unlucky and in so much pain! He is so going to get it when I get home! _Sakura thought to herself, becoming angry at all of the unfortunate events that have taken place.

**CHA! **

Violently pushing herself from her desk, Sakura's chair fell over as a result of her rage. But she didn't care one bit. For Naruto was going to suffer a more painful and unnecessary beating. Unnecessary because if he had just _stayed out of her god damned way_, none of this would have happened.

She would've been happy and chipper.

He would've been happy and chipper.

They would've been happy and chipper.

And he wouldn't have to get his hot sun-kissed ass beat.

Oh yeah, he was going _down. _

Naruto smiled as he lifted the soft red rose to his nostrils. Taking in the famous flower's scent reminded him so much of Sakura. The way her skin was as soft as a baby's bum, her pink hair, she was beautiful. It had been his plan, to get her out of the house. Of course, he hadn't so much _liked _the way he did it but if he had did it any other way she could've gotten suspicious and that would have foiled all of his plans. He had needed a lot of setting up for his plan to work and by the way it was working out so far, it was a full out win-win scenario.

The door was violently busted off its hinges and a very angry pink-haired kunoichi stood in its place. Naruto just smiled.

_Right on time._

"Listen here Uzumaki! I'm tired of all the abuse!" She shouted as she stomped towards him. Her little tantrum made him smile more.

"Hi, honey!" Naruto exclaimed, ignoring Sakura and her clearly enraged state. He went in for a hug but all the physical contact he received was a punch to the face.

"Like hell," Sakura growled as she stomped over to a fallen Naruto. Lifting him up by his collar, she shouted in his face.

"Now, you're going to stop harassing me and actually let me have a day of piece on this holiday! I don't want any more gifts and I don't want anymore of your so called 'gifts'." she said as she sat him back down and went to head back to the hospital when Naruto ushered a few words to her.

"I guess you don't want you're Valentine's surprise then." Naruto said coyly. Sakura could practically hear the excitement in his voice. The hell is he so excited about.

"What?" Sakura growled, turning to stare at her joyous boyfriend of 2-years.

"No, you don't want any more gifts."

"What is it?"

"Nope, not telling!" Naruto smiled at her and stood himself up from the couch. Sakura clenched her fist repeatedly.

"Tell. Me."

"Never!" Naruto shouted as he quickly formed the correct hand signs for a transportation jutsu. All that was left was a cloud of smoke.

Screaming with aggravation Sakura ran out of the house and ran to the most obvious place to where he would be. Ichiraku.

"Teuchi-san!" Sakura exclaimed as she pushed away the pieces of fabric that were hanging from the front of the ramen shop.

"Hmm? Oh, Sakura-san! What can I do for you?" he smiled as he still dried dishes with a tattered white rag.

"Is Naruto here?" she asked when she couldn't find him.

"Naruto? No," he answered as he knitted his brows together in confusion. Groaning Sakura was about to leave when Teuchi stopped her. "but he did leave this note behind for you." he informed as he took out a little piece of paper from his apron pocket. He handed it over to her and she growled.

_You'll have to catch me at the bridge if you want your surprise! _

_Love,_

_Naruto _

"Thanks," Sakura muttered as she quickly ran for the bridge that her and the rest of Team 7 usually met on. If he didn't tell her what the surprise was, ooh was he going to get it.

"Naruto!" Sakura shouted as she pushed herself to run faster when she saw the familiar figure of him standing at the bridge. But he just smiled back at her and transported himself somewhere else when she was about to reach him.

"Dammit!" Sakura growled as she stopped to catch her breath. The bitch was gonna die. And she didn't care if she got caught, he deserved it. A white piece of paper floated down slowly in front of her face. A similar note to the one Teuchi gave her fell to the ground in front of her feet.

Picking it up, Sakura read the contents inside.

_Ooh, so close…but no cigar! You'll have to _try harder _if you want your surprise!_

_Love you, _

_Naruto_

_P.S. 4_

Sakura smacked her forehead. It was a scavenger hunt. For Naruto. Sighing, Sakura had no choice but to succumb even when she really, really didn't want to. There was no other way, he was just going to continue on with his lovely shenanigans. Note the sarcasim. But alas, it was the only way she was going to beat his ass when she got a hold of him.

Jumping onto a roof top, Sakura could only guess that when Naruto meant 'try harder' he had hinted on the training grounds. And as for the number 4 after the P.S. he had told her the number of which training ground it was. She made a run for it.

Upon arriving there, Sakura was greeted by Kakashi.

"Yo,"

"Where's Naruto?" Sakura ignored him. She wanted her boyfriend. Now.

"Well, someone sure love's their sensei." Kakashi muttered sarcastically but handed her the note Naruto had left her from his pocket. He had better be getting paid for this.

"Thank you," Sakura replied as she opening the note and read the next clue.

_Ok, just one more shot and that's it! You lose! Come to the _center of life _and you'll find little ol' loveable me!_

_Love you, sugar-bear!_

_Naruto_

Throwing the small article to the ground and stomping it repeatedly, Sakura quickly made a transportation justsu and made her way to the Hokage Tower. It was the only logical place for Naruto's hint of 'the center of life'.

"Naruto! When I get my hands on you!" Sakura shouted as she found him at the top balcony.

He waved innocently at her.

Wanting to punch his smile off his gorgeous face.

"You're gonna get it, mister!" she screamed as she dashed for the stairs. No way in hell was she going to let him leave this time. Nor was she going to lose, she had to find out what the surprise was.

On her adventure up the stairs Sakura had passed a series of letters taped on the right side wall.

M

A

R

R

Y

_Marry? _Sakura asked herself, too angry and revengeful to really make sense of what they said.

Finally reaching the door, she kicked it open with remarkable force and was greeted by Naruto.

Kneeling on one knee.

With a Red Rose.

With a box.

That had a ring inside it.

Confused, Sakura looked out to see practically the whole village down from below watching the two with smiles and hopeful eyes.

And from within the crowd, a group of people held up two signs with the letters M and E on them. Staring from the crowd and back to Naruto, Sakura's mind clicked at the letters she had passed on her way up and the ones that the villagers were holding.

_Naruto kneeling, the ring, Marry-Me? _Sakura thought.

Sakura looked down at Naruto to find a sheepish grin on his face. Sakura was beyond shocked, but when she put all the things together she was at a loss for words. For no words could describe how joyous she felt when she realized what was going on.

"Will you do the honors, Sakura?" Naruto asked as she ran and tackled him right as he finished.

"Yes, yes!" Sakura screamed as she kissed his face all over. He laughed and the crowd erupted with cheers. Ino, Hinata, Tenten, Temari, cried for joy, the men smirked and pumped a fist towards Naruto.

"Like a boss!" Kiba shouted.

Tsunade shook her head yet smiled brightly. It seemed like only yesterday, that Tsunade had started teaching Sakura as her faithful apprentice. And now...she was getting married. It was almost a heart-breaker but knowing she was in good hands, Tsunade was more excited than sad.

Naruto picked him and Sakura up and lifted her into his arms and gave her a loving kiss. She returned it happily.

They both smiled as he slipped on the symbol of engagement and marriage, the ring. It was a beautiful sterling silver ring with a good-sized white diamond in the middle and on the sides were small cherry-blossoms that decorated the top with little orange swirls inside of them. Sakura's eyes started to water, it had to be the most beautiful ring she had ever saw.

"Mrs. Sakura Haruno Uzumaki," Sakura said as if testing it out on her tongue. Naruto smiled.

"Perfect, ain't it?" Naruto laughed. Sakura smiled and gave him a quick hug and kiss in his arms.

"Damn right!"

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_**I know, I know NaruSaku isn't my usual forte but I gave it a shot. It's slowly been growing on me...but I hope you enjoyed Naruto's little Valentine's Day shenanigans! Of course feedback is appreciated, and this might be a start of a one-shot valentine's story, who knows! **_

_**But I highly doubt that. **_

_**BUT if you guys insist, then I will :) **_

_**Thanks for reading (and hopefully reviewing!) **_

_**~AT**_


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